Sick

This past week I was sick, dear reader.  I caught a bug of some kind that gave me 4 days of wiped out, feverish, achy, I-break-a-sweat-when-I walk-more-than-20-steps-though-mentally-perfectly-sound-and-thus-feeling-stir-crazy time.  Yet the whole experience has been really clarifying for me as I thought about how I was not entirely well emotionally, mentally, or spiritually--not hugely malignant problems mind you, but I was ill or wounded and needed treatment just as badly as my physical body.  Those unseen issues were a little bit harder to find and take care of, though as I examined them I felt that I could see the poor effect that my incompleteness took on me.  I feel like I needed to experience weakness and recovery physically so that I could internalize and apply it to myself emotionally, mentally, and physically.  And while I still have a lot to learn, I think that I grasped some ideas that have translated to a better understanding of becoming whole.  

Recovery takes time.  I had things I thought I needed to or wanted to do and being sick just threw a wrench in my timetable.  For a little while I got frustrated, irked that I didn't have the ability to do what I felt was necessary, in the time that I wanted to accomplish it.  I focused on me--what I could not do, what I needed to do, and when I needed to do it--but soon grew weary of that approach because it zapped whatever energy I did have.  I realized what was expedient and what was not and felt better able to do what mattered and let go of whatever I was clinging to that didn't really actually hold much weight, all things considered.  Getting better was a really gradual process for me this time around, and I think that by having it drawn out and having a little bit of improvement each day helped me appreciate the improvement and savor it and rejoice in it.

You'll need to recover more than once.  While that recovery may not be for the same illness, our bodies encounter more than one sickness and we confront more than one type of challenge, weakness, or hardship in our lifetimes.  Thankfully, its natural to be sick and brought low multiple times--and it just leaves you stronger and more resilient for whatever lies ahead.  

Letting others know helps.  Others care about you and I feel like they really show it when you share with them that you are not well and in need of help.  They may not know exactly how to do so, but I feel like witnessing others' earnest desire to and efforts to help really made me feel secure and taken care of, even when I still felt really not well.

Being sick helps you appreciate being healthy all the more.  I have a lot more wonder and gratitude about my body and cells and rest and good food and a whole bunch of other things now that I have been restored to health.  Its pretty awesome the way that our body responds when we call upon it to exert or rest or do anything really.  And our mind and heart and spirit are the same way--responding to our choices and decisions to act, albeit a little harder to direct or guide than our physical body.

I feel like through being sick, I realized just how much of a gift being well is and how beautiful and good it is to be whole.  It is really a gift.

recovery |riˈkəvərē|

noun

1 a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength

2 the action or process of regaining possession or control of something stolen or lost