Happy to be HERE!

Jones shimai (my companion), Me, Mondano shimai and Amituanai shimai 

Week 2

OH!  Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!  Where do I even start?!  I love reading the thoughts and experiences from you all. Thank you for your goodness, love, and examples.  You are such dear people to me!  I'm glad that you enjoyed the family reunion--the place, activities, and people sound delightful...minus Sadie's being sick and Josh's collision with with billiard ball.  I thought something may have happened when I looked at the photos you guys sent in the package--which SO TOTALLY ROCKS!!  Thank you, thank you!  I am looking forward to opening its contents tomorrow!  Seriously.  I wasn't expecting anything and then BOOM BABY--lovely wrapped package with my name on it.  So exciting!

 

I feel like I've been in the MTC for the longest time.  And while I don't know my district, leaders, or teachers particularly well, I love and trust them so much.  Its hard to describe.  The other day I was sitting in class and I had this curious but true thought--"There is no where I'd rather be than the MTC on my 22nd birthday and I am looking forward to spending it with these people".  It startled me a bit to be honest, but it is really true.  I feel like this is a really good thing to be doing these days.  I know last week I said that my district is a little young (and it is, the girls are 19, 20, and 21 and 2 boys are barely 19 and the other 9 are 18) but they have such good hearts.  More about them....sometime.  1 hour goes by like lightening!  Here's a quote from one of the elders this week though:  Guys are naturally hotter than girls.  I mean, warmer!  Ahh, man.  Guys are hotter in BODY TEMPERATURE than girls."  It was so funny.  The elders also drew a pretty elaborate picture of a dinosaur vs. people on the white board.  I'll try and include a picture. 

 

Devotional this week was so great and a returned missionary from Tokyo spoke as part of it!  WOOOOT!!  My favorite part of it was the district devotional review in which we went around our classroom and shared something that we learned and bore testimony of it.  I learned "the value of half an hour" and how forgetting ourselves allows us to be an instrument in the Lord's hands.  I was so grateful. 

 

I also felt so grateful for John's focus on love in his account of the Last Supper.  Love is central to everything we do! 

 

Sorry this is a short one dears.  I am trying to learn to allocate my time with responses, accounting my week, and trying to figure out how to send pictures. 

 

I love you all so very much.  Have a splendid week! 

 

Love,

Williams shimai

 

 

 

HELLO MY DEAR FAMILY (and friends too)!

 

Ahh!  It is so great to be able to write to you all!  I hope you are loving the family reunion and each others' company. 

 

OK, the MTC is really wonderful.  That deep peace and calm has been with me most--if not all the time--even though there is so much new material to learn, people to meet, language to SPEAK and TEACH in.  I love it, I really do.  Sometimes in class I feel a little lost, but practice, practice, practice, faith, prayer, and the Lord's strength are incredible.  I am so grateful.  Thank you for your prayers, teaching, love, and faith.  I know that they are SO effective in my life. 

 

I am really learning a lot about faith and how to exercise faith here.  It takes a lot of work to learn Japanese and practice it and remember how to say everything.  I am so glad that I have a background in the language--it makes the words not quite so foriegn and the grammar understandable.  Sometimes its just a matter of recalling it.  The first class we went to the teachers spoke only in Japanese to us.  I was able to respond sometimes, but not very quickly or all that intelligibly.  In time though!  :)  We've been taught how to pray in Japanese and I've loved thinking hard about what to say; its helped me really focus in my prayers. 

 

Anyhow, like someone I talked to lately, to me the weeks feel like days and the days feel like weeks.  And it hasn't been a whole week yet!  I've done a lot though--a lot that is so demanding and so deeply satisfying.  Sister Jones (my companion and I) taught our first lesson to an investigator last night and we are preparing to teach another one tonight.  He was incredibly patient and understanding with us and I am so grateful for that.  I came out of there rejoicing--teaching people about the gospel is so cool!  Kind of hard, but really, really good.  I am so glad that I get to do it full time!

 

I've seen Calvin and Levi (though we didn't make it to the class that he taught on Wednesday, much to my chagrin.  I thought that the missionaries went to them every week rather than just the first one.  Haha.  Ignorance is such a source of humor sometimes), a few friends and acquaintences from BYU, Logan Epperson (his class is in the same building as mine!), and lots of great, smiling, friendly, unfamiliar faces.  I love it.  No Aaron yet, and if I'm not mistaken, I think he leaves soon, yes?  Anyhow, its been lovely.  There's a spirit of relying on the Lord in all that we do and earnestly desiring to do what He wants us to.  AWESOME--or as you say in Japanese, subarashi! 

 

My district is so funny and mostly interested in working hard to serve with 4 sisters (including me) and 9 elders (there's one threesome).  :)  They're a tad young and may have a bit of growing up to do, but I think that can be said for all of us, so its all good.  Many of them have studied a bit of Japanese, but I think we all feel equally challenged when it comes time to learning the language.  I'm not sure I have time to give a little sketch of everyone in the district, but if you want me to I'll try to do that next week.  For now, I'll tell you about the three other sisters in my class (our district has 2 classes for the same level and I have yet to really get to know the other beginning sisters).  They are all international missionaries--meaning that they have SWEET accents and a good understanding of the MTC since they've been here since Monday.  Mondano shimai is 20, from the Philippenes, very sweet, and very open.  Amituanai shimai is 19, from Australia, pleasantly expressive, owns the fact that she is brown (in her own words), and at times a little rambunctious.  Jones shimai is also from Australia and has a goal to teach me to speak with an Austrialian accent by the time we leave.  :)  Nice, right?  She is 21, was studying law and arts at the university in Sydney, is incredibly eager to be a good missionary and to work hard.  I love her.  We are so different, but I think that we work really well together and will learn a lot from each other in our time here. 

 

Want to read a sort of funny story?  Like I said, Jones shimai and I taught our first lesson in nihongo to Harukawa san (an investigator) last night.  At one point we told him that he would feel God's love as he prayed and he aksed what he would feel like.  We hadn't prepared for such a question and so I said something like "Ah...happy...and....uh...cool.  Cool."  Just imagine someone looking intently at you trying to understand what you are saying and then cringing inside.  It wasn't that bad though; I think he understood what I was trying to say. 

 

Mmm, life is good.  I've been thinking a lot about joy and suffering and the relationship between the two since doing some language study on the computer with those ideas and also reading a letter from a professor (so kind of him!) in which he included some literature from a poet named Khalil Gibran about joy and suffering.  Can I share some lines with you? 

 

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with tears.

How else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain...

Some of you say that "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseperable. 

Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember tahat the other is asleep upon your bed..."    

 

Beautiful isn't it!  It reminds me of what a friend of mine said in her testimony once ( as a quote from someone I cannot recall)  "Sorrow carves a cavern in our souls that will one day be a receptacle for joy. 

 

I am so grateful for the Savior's sorrow that allows us to have full joy.  His Atonement is incredible.  I hope that you each feel it in your lives--strengthening, building, and enabling you to grow and do everything--especially that which is hard. 

 

Thank you so much to Sister Bennion!  I was seriously stunned to see a letter to me from Las Vegas so soon after entering the MTC!  While I have yet to explore the whole packets fully, I've so loved the thoughts and drawings from her and her Primary class; they were like a ray of sunshine.  Thanks to each of them!  Sadie-- I loved your drawing!  :)  I hope I can do good on my mission too.  ;)   

 

The computers refuse to let our cameras upload any photos (I think its secretly part of new missionary initiation) so I can't send any just yet, but will try to do so next week.  Until next Satruday! 

 

All my love,

Williams shimai

For a Season

I’m leaving.   Many of you know that I’m headed out to the Provo Missionary Training Center this Wednesday to start training to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Tokyo, Japan for 18 months.  Woo-hoo!  I shared this talk in Sacrament meeting and wanted to share it here too, though I’m not sure this version exactly follows the talk I gave in Sacrament meeting.  I really loved thinking about this talk and how I’ve seen it in my life hope that it helps you see how it happens in your life as well. 

I am excited to share what I’ve learned from thinking about Elder Quentin L.  Cook’s talk from this April’s General Conference titled “Personal Peace: The Reward of Righteousness”.  I hope that I can express the thoughts in my head and the feelings in my heart. 

I really love that Elder Cook puts the focus of his address on “the role of Jesus Christ in helping each of us obtain lasting personal peace.”  In this light, personal peace is a gift from God because of the Savior’s Atonement.  I know that He is eager to bestow this gift (and many other blessings) upon us and also that it is conditioned on our efforts to keep His commandments and follow the Christ’s example.  When we are righteous, peace comes as part of the blessing of the Spirit. 

As I studied this talk, I realized that personal peace is quite different than world peace.  In the world’s definition (and in a few dictionaries) peace is associated with absence—the absence of turmoil, stress, or sorrow.  Yet personal peace is a state of being we can have in the midst of distress.  I think that part of this beautiful paradox is that one way we have personal peace is that our perspectives are less confined to this life alone; that is, they are less temporal and more eternal.  We trust that all will be made right through the Atonement in a way that we don’t quite understand. 

As part of his address, Elder Cook focuses on the relationship between peace and agency.  He recounts some sobering recent events, including the December shootings at Newtown, Connecticut, the uncertainty, turmoil and hardship of the African country Abidjan, and the attacks of September 11, 2001.  These events he says “rob us of our peace and heighten our sense of vulnerability.”  He also notes that “our pain and suffering in this life, even when caused by things we do not understand and the choices of others” can be traced back to agency. 

            Yet while the ability to choose sometimes results in tragedy, Elder Cook reminds us that in the premortal life “ we…knew that the Savior’s Atonement would overcome and compensate us for all of the unfairness of mortal life and bring us peace.”  As Ugo Betti says “To believe in God is to know that all the rules will be fair and that there will be wonderful surprises”.  When we decide to believe in God, we trust that all things will be made right.  As Elder Cook says,  “peace comes from knowing that the Savior knows who we are and knows that we have faint in Him, love Him, and keep His commandments, even and especially amid life’s devastating trials and tragedies.”  When we trust the Savior and strive to remain loyal to His commandments, He imparts to us His Spirit and encourages us to accept peace (see D&C 121:7-8 and John 14:26-27).

I think it is such a generous gift that even in the midst of our trials, God has promised us a way to have peace through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  Thus as we are stretched, pushed, tried, and refined, we can be calm and assured.  I have such peace often in my life, whether it be during uncertainty about a test or my interactions with another person.  These experiences have led me to love Philippians 4:7 which reads, “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep (or according to the footnote, guard) your hearts through Christ Jesus.”  To me, this scripture means that even when events in our life seem unfair or don’t seem to add up, or to any sort of logic should unbalance us, the peace of God can—and does—surpass that. 

I’ve been really grateful to have had the opportunity to reflect on true, personal peace, as it is the last week that I have had before entering the MTC to prepare to serve as a missionary in Tokyo, Japan.  There have been a few moments where I’ve thought “I should be nervous.  I mean, I’m about to go to a foreign land, speak a language I don’t really know right now, and share thoughts, feelings and truth that is very close to my heart. And I am leaving a life that I LOVE with people that I LOVE in it.”  While I’ve had a few freak out moments and these thoughts go through my head, the dominant, prevailing feeling of this week especially has been a beautiful, almost unfathomable unruffleable peace.  That blessing has helped me look forward to the future, despite the uncertainty that is part of it.  I feel that peace helps us be courageous and do things that are hard, which the story of Jeremiah illustrates well.  Jeremiah was called to preach to a hardened people.  Jeremiah hesitates and says “Ah, Lord GOD!  Behold, I cannot speak: for I am a child.”  The Lord responds saying “Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go unto all that I shall send me, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak.  Be not afraid of their faces, for I am with thee to deliver thee” (Jeremiah 1:6-8).  This declaration must have given Jeremiah much confidence and peace and teaches us that as we do as God commands, He will be with us to help us. 

Personal peace allows us to be content, thoughtful, strong, hopeful, and loving.  It is a gift for being righteous that in turn, helps us become more Christlike.  To illustrate the effects of peace, I want to share a literary example from a pair of books that I love—Gilead and Home by Marilynne Robinson.  These books describe the homecoming of a wayward son to a small town in Iowa in two different perspectives.  In these books, there are two characters with nearly the same name:  John Ames, an aged minister in this small town and John—or Jack—Ames Boughton a son of the former’s dear friend.  John Ames is in his final days, about to leave his wife and young son, but reflects such contentment and hope in the future.  I think this passage illustrates that wonderfully.  “The twinkling of an eye.  That is the most wonderful expression.  I’ve thought from time to time it was the best thing in life, that little incandescence you see in people when the charm of a thing strikes them, or the humor of it.  ‘The light of the eyes rejoiceth the heart.’  That’s a fact.  While you read this, I am imperishable, somehow more alive than I have ever been, in the strength of my youth with dear ones beside me.  You read the dreams of an anxious, fuddled old man and I live in a light better than any dream of mine—not waiting for you though, because I want your dear perishable self to live long and to love this poor perishable world, which I somehow I cannot imagine missing bitterly…well this old seed is about to drop into the ground.  Then I’ll know.”  I think that John has such calm in the face of his death because he has chosen the path of peace—belief and actions that reflect that belief. 

           

Jack Boughton on the other hand is sort of a black sheep in his family.  He is a deep, wise soul yet the most common description of him is “weary” and uses the phrase “I’m so weary of myself” quite often.  To me the difference between these two men stems from the exercise of their agency.  One has chosen faith and righteousness and thus received peace while the other is uncertain if he can believe and grieved by the mistakes of his past.  My heart aches for Jack and so desires him to try to believe in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. His experience stresses to me that peace is a gift made possible by that Atonement and that we must desire it and receive it rather than oblige it to be forced on us. 

In this book too, the author explores the idea of angels in the wilderness and I want to thank so many of you for being angels in my wilderness of this world or of growing up.  I know that God does provide for His children, that He is gracious and generous and that peace in the midst of hardship testifies to that.  I am grateful for the opportunity to publish peace by serving as a missionary.  I hope that if I find people like Jack that I can be an instrument in the hands of the Lord in helping them believe.  I hope too that I can be a conduit for the Spirit to help God’s children recognize His outreach to them and receive the great blessings He desires for them, including personal peace.  I know that He is eager to recognize our efforts to come to Him.  I know that this is the true church of Christ.  I’d like to close with John 14:27: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the word giveth, give I unto you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid”.  I know that He wants us to be happy and have peace through obedience and closeness to Him and I close in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.  

Green

 

Summer is such a bright time of year.  The earth seems to come to life a little more to take advantage of the sun, warm weather, longer days, and general loveliness.  To me, one of the most dominant colors of this season is green.  It comes in so many forms--bright leaves on decidious trees, the feathery green of grasses and fields, sea green succulents and eucalyptus leaves, the textures of these greens.  Even in the desert there are so many shades of it!  Green can be vibrant or subtle, the focus or the accent, cool or warm.  To me, these greens represent growth, progression, and joy.  I feel like there is so much to see and love if we just look.  

 

Sometimes its hard for me to believe that the whole world in all its magnificence and beauty is for us.  But it is, and what a gift!  "Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart; Yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul.  And it pleaseth God that he hath given all these things unto man; for unto this end were they made to be used, with judgment, not to excess, neither by extortion." (D&C 59:18-20). 

I have yet to read any works by Leo Tolstoy, but I read a quote from him the other day that resonated with me.  Well, to be honest, I read a lot of quotes that did, but here is just one.  I wouldn't want to overwhelm you or myself with a flood of concentrated writing.  It can be powerful stuff, you know.  Anyhow, here it is.  "If, then, I were asked for the most important advice I could give, that which I considered to be the most useful to the men of our century, I should simply say: in the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.” 

I think that Tolstoy is so earnest in his exhortation for us to be still for a moment and look because he knows that it is restorative and gives joy.  Yet like the scripture mentioned earlier, there needs to be balance--admiration "not to excess" I suppose.  If we spent all our time effusing what a great world this life is, then we are in danger of becoming too much like romantic poets.  However, if we fail to notice the simple grace of the world around us, then life may quickly dissolve into mere drudgery.  Finding that balance is a tough task; one that requires pretty constant effort and attention.  But I think its an important yearning and striving--one that truly enriches life and one that God wants us to pursue because it makes us happy.  So cool.  

Welcome!

Hello!  I'm glad you're here.  Sincerely, I am.  Thanks for stopping by.  :) 

I struggled with coming up with a title for this blog (I mean really, how, how, HOW do you distill all the thoughts swimming around in your head into one simple title that captures everything you want to say?).  I wanted a phrase that could describe anything I could possibly publish on this blog and yet not overwhelm the reader with a spectrum of ideas.  After LOTS of thinking, bounding ideas of others, and a few gentle head bangs on a nearby wall, I settled on the title you see up top.  Care to know why? 

I love words--and from that stems a love of dictionaries, definitions, and etymologies too.  Gracious comes from the word grace, and one dictionary defines it as "courteous, kind and pleasant, pleasantly indulgent, elegant and tasteful".  Isn't that a great word?!  Not only that, but I think it describes this world we live in wonderfully.  The earth is so giving, often so kind, and the people who live on it have not ceased to surprised me with their goodness.  There is so much to admire, laugh about, experience, learn, do, and enjoy!  I think these gracious inclinations of our surroundings testify of God's grace.  I know that He and His Son Jesus Christ are the epitome of grace and are so gracious to us, children of God wandering in this world.  I am grateful for their generosity and involvement in our lives--for it is Their guidance that makes life fulfilling, joyous, and beautiful. 

I hope my thoughts on this blog help you, dear reader, (and me for that matter) to have eyes to see the goodness in this world and rejoice in it.  For I feel that this life takes place in such a gracious world.